Karmic bonds in the family: parents, children, brothers and sisters
Viviana Queirolo BertoglioThere are relatives with whom everything flows, and others with whom every Sunday lunch reopens the same discussion. Family karmic bonds unite two people from the same family: a parent and a child, two sisters, a grandmother and a grandchild. And they are, almost always, the hardest to recognize.
What are family karmic bonds
Karma, in its simplest definition, takes into account what remained unresolved in other lives and in the history of our family. This is why the family is the place where karmic bonds are felt the most: not only as an inheritance passed from one generation to another, which is the theme of family karma, but as a precise bond between two people. When I talk about family karmic bonds, I mean exactly this: not the Lunar Nodes, which are something else, but the knot that binds me and my mother, me and my brother, and which is read by comparing our two charts.
The calculation is the same as for a couple. The slow planets of one parent in aspect with the personal points of a child form the same geometry that would form between two lovers; what changes is the way the bond is lived, and therefore the way it is told. I explained it in the article on karmic relationship.
A karmic bond that is not chosen
The difference that counts, between a family bond and one of love, is that in the family the relationship is not chosen. Between two relatives there is not even a first meeting: there is childhood, and the relationship had already begun before either of them could decide anything. With relatives by marriage, on the other hand — parents-in-law, siblings-in-law, stepfathers, stepsiblings — there is a first meeting, and with it the first impression: the one that sometimes makes you keep your distance, postpone, not call back.
This is also why family karmic bonds weigh so heavily. A difficult love relationship can be left behind sooner or later. A relationship with a parent remains, even when you distance yourself.
Saturn in the family: duty and authority
Among the four great binders, Saturn, that is duty, discipline and responsibility, is the one that is best recognized in the family. It speaks of authority, of duty, of a sense of indebtedness for which one feels they always have to give, and the other feels responsible almost like a parent. Between two sisters with a few years difference it is the letter-perfect description of the older one.
Saturn also explains the difficulty of certain relationships between parents and children. Those who carry Saturn tend to demand that the other does not change, and meanwhile help them structure themselves; over time they may feel threatened by their growth and wish, without saying it, that they would return to what they were, while the other experiences it as someone who holds back their impulses and does not want to go back. Those who know the series on Saturn's family karma in the signs will find the same planet, looked at inside a single chart; here we look at it between two.
Saturn in synastry: karmic debt and duration
Pluto, Venus and Juno among relatives
Pluto, that is transformation, self-renewal and personal power, brings power struggles, the desire to reform the other, jealousy. Among relatives this harsh version is more precise than in a couple, because the throne has a name: it is the place in the family.
Venus, outside of love, is the value we give to things, what we like and what warms the heart. Between two relatives it speaks of what you like, what you buy, what you consider beautiful, and how much you resemble or irritate each other for this.
And there are bonds that everyone takes for granted precisely because you are relatives. When commitment, which Juno represents, meets Neptune, the question is whether under the form there is substance.
Before going on you can do the karmic bond test with your birth dates and your relative's.
The test tells you how intense your bond is and how harmonious it is. The Karmic Bond Document tells the rest: at what level it binds you, from mild to indissoluble, where it comes from and what it asks of you.
In family karmic bonds intensity is not affection
This is the misunderstanding that in the family must be cleared up first. The reading does not measure how much you love each other: it measures how much you change each other, and which of the two carries more karma. A mother is important by definition, but the karmic bond with her can be mild: being mother and daughter is a definition, not a measure. And it can happen that the deepest karmic bond in the family is with an aunt, with a cousin, with a grandfather you met little.
Staying close or distancing yourself
Dissolving karma, in the family, does not necessarily mean getting closer. It means being able to truly choose whether to stay close or distance yourself, without the chart making the choice for us. If you distance yourself without having dissolved it, the chart does not stay behind: it reappears, with another person, in the same form. This is the reason why, in many families, someone at some point breaks the family karma: not by fleeing, but by looking at it.
Family karma: how to recognize it and free yourself from it
With which person in your family do you feel you still have an open account?
Frequently asked questions
1. What are family karmic bonds?
They are the karmic bonds between two people from the same family: a parent and a child, two sisters, a grandmother and a grandchild. They should not be confused with the Lunar Nodes: they are read by comparing the two charts, as is done for a couple.
2. What difference is there with family karma?
Family karma is the inheritance that passes from one generation to another in the whole family. The family karmic bond is the precise relationship between two people in that family, with its aspects and its task.
3. Why does the karmic bond weigh more in the family?
Because in the family the relationship is not chosen. Between relatives there is not even a first meeting: there is childhood, and the relationship had already begun before anyone could decide anything.
4. Which planet is most recognized in the family?
Saturn, the planet of duty, discipline and responsibility. It speaks of authority, indebtedness and one of the two feeling responsible for the other almost like a parent.
5. What does Pluto bring among relatives?
Power struggles, the desire to reform the other, jealousy. Among relatives this dynamic is more precise than in a couple, because the throne has a name: it is the place in the family.
6. What does Venus mean in a family bond?
Outside of love, Venus is the value we give to things, what we like and what warms the heart. Between two relatives it speaks of tastes, what is considered beautiful and how much you resemble or irritate each other for this.
7. If the karmic bond with my mother is mild, does it mean we don't love each other?
No. The reading measures how much you change each other, not affection. Being mother and daughter is a definition, not a measure.
8. Can a family karmic bond be dissolved by distancing yourself?
Dissolving karma does not necessarily mean getting closer: it means being able to truly choose whether to stay close or distance yourself. If you distance yourself without having dissolved it, the chart reappears with another person.
The Karmic Bond Document for the family
The Karmic Bond Document can be requested for a father or a mother, a son or a daughter, a brother or a sister, a grandfather or a grandmother, an uncle or an aunt, a cousin, a nephew, and for relatives by marriage. It is written for your relationship: the contacts designed for two lovers translate into their family form, and those that make no sense between relatives remain out. It tells how deep the bond is, which of the two carries more karma, what comes from past lives and what the bond asks of you now.
It comes in two versions, the technical one and the narrative one, written for those who know nothing about astrology. The date, time and place of birth of both people are needed.
Viviana
